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North Korea: Witness to Transformation

The Rodman Roster Contest

by | September 22nd, 2013 | 05:49 am

kju piipen

Toward the end of Dennis Rodman’s recent New York press conference  the Worm announced that he would be taking a group of former NBA players to Pyongyang in January and threw out the names Scottie Pippen (shown above dunking on the Young General in an earlier match-up) and Karl Malone.  Frankly, Ambassador Rodman appeared inebriated, and I doubt that he had actually recruited the Mailman, but it did get me thinking: who could Dennis Rodman and $3 million of Paddy Power money induce to play in Pyongyang in January (or February, we’re talking Rodman time). This is a matter of some importance, after all: if the Worm can land recognizable, if broke, former stars (my brain keeps screaming “Stephon Marbury!” “Stephon Marbury!”) then he stays in the good graces of Kim Jong-un (or Kim Yung-yang, as Ambassador R seems to mumble at the 37:27 mark of the presser) and can possibly free Kenneth Bae. (Or not). But if he shows up with journeymen like say, Cliff Levingston, our man Dennis and his diplomatic advisers from the ICG will get kicked to the curb!

Hence the Witness to Transformation Rodman Roster Contest: name the group of players that Dennis Rodman takes with him to Pyongyang. Contestants get up to 12 picks. No exclusivity: we can all have Allen Iverson on our rosters! This will be an open-ended contest, I won’t announce the winner until Team Rodman takes the court. So start scouring those bankruptcy notices and get your rosters in! The winner gets an autographed copy of Hard Target: Sanctions, Inducements, and the North Korea Problem.

In the meantime, keep crackin’ those wonderful pistachios: